{"id":2733,"date":"2025-07-08T11:42:31","date_gmt":"2025-07-08T11:42:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.govertvanginkel.nl\/?p=2733"},"modified":"2025-07-08T11:46:32","modified_gmt":"2025-07-08T11:46:32","slug":"nonviolent-communication-and-social-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.govertvanginkel.nl\/en\/inspiration\/nonviolent-communication-and-social-change\/","title":{"rendered":"Nonviolent Communication and Social Change"},"content":{"rendered":"

Rethinking Communication, Ownership, and What It Means to Be a Guest on Earth<\/strong><\/p>\n

Communication doesn\u2019t matter if we are lost in confusion, don\u2019t understand each other, and it doesn\u2019t make a difference.<\/p>\n

That may sound stark \u2014 even disheartening \u2014 but it points to a deeper truth. In a world where words are exchanged endlessly, where conversation flows across screens and stages, something essential often goes missing: the consciousness <\/em>behind the words.<\/p>\n

We speak without seeing the systems that shape what we say. We repeat inherited patterns, unaware they limit our understanding, our actions, and our capacity to truly change. It\u2019s as if we are held captive in a prison of thought \u2014 one we didn\u2019t build ourselves, yet keep reinforcing day after day.<\/p>\n

The Limits of Our Inherited Thinking<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I reflect on Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I don\u2019t see it merely as a model for conflict resolution or effective dialogue. For Marshall Rosenberg, its founder, it was never meant to be a self-help tool. It was a tool for social change<\/em>.<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the catch: social change begins with changing ourselves \u2014 and that means questioning not just what we say, but how we think<\/em>. Because the most dangerous systems are not outside us. They live within our assumptions.<\/p>\n

As Vanessa Machado de Oliveira writes in Hospicing Modernity<\/em><\/a>, we are so deeply embedded in the current system that escaping it may require a return to zero. A stripping away of layers: cultural, economic, psychological, and moral. Only then can we co-create something new.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s not easy work. But it is essential work.<\/p>\n

Ownership, Scarcity, and the Illusion of Separation<\/strong><\/p>\n

Take something as foundational as ownership<\/em>. We\u2019re taught from birth to see the world through its lens: this is mine, that is yours. Right and wrong are defined by property rights. Entire legal, economic, and social systems rest on the idea that to live is to acquire, protect, and control.<\/p>\n

But pause for a moment.<\/p>\n

You were born with nothing \u2014 no deed, no title, no property. Everything you create in your lifetime is shaped from materials, knowledge, and relationships you did not originate. So what does it really mean to say: \u201cThis is mine\u201d?<\/p>\n

At best, ownership is a temporary claim. At worst, it\u2019s an illusion that enables injustice and entitlement.<\/p>\n

For every piece we take, someone else loses access. That\u2019s how scarcity is manufactured. Not by a lack of resources \u2014 but by a mindset that hoards, competes, and fears. And in that mindset, gratitude fades. Generosity dries up. And communication? It becomes just another tool for asserting control.<\/p>\n

Stewardship: Another Mask of Control?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Even ideas that sound positive \u2014 like stewardship<\/em> \u2014 can be part of the same mental trap. Defined as \u201cthe careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one\u2019s care,\u201d stewardship still centers us<\/em> as managers, decision-makers, and moral authorities.<\/p>\n

But who entrusted us? On what grounds do we assume such a role? Is stewardship not just another expression of hierarchy, wrapped in the language of responsibility?<\/p>\n

It reflects the logic of modernity: that humans are separate from, and above, the natural world. That Earth is ours to protect \u2014 or to plunder. Either way, we remain the central figure.<\/p>\n

This is not humility. It\u2019s domination wearing a softer mask.<\/p>\n

A Shift to Guesthood<\/strong><\/p>\n

There is another way to think about our place in the world \u2014 not as owners, not even as stewards, but as guests<\/em>.<\/p>\n

A guest doesn\u2019t take for granted.
\nA guest doesn\u2019t assume control.
\nA guest arrives with humility.
\nA guest honors the host, the home, and the temporary nature of their stay.<\/p>\n

When we see ourselves as guests on Earth, everything changes. It reframes our choices, our relationships, and our responsibilities. We become more attuned to balance. We begin to share rather than accumulate. We listen more than we speak. And we live not in scarcity \u2014 but in deep, abiding gratitude<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Rewriting the Conversation<\/strong><\/p>\n

We are at a crossroads. One path continues in the logic of limitation: possess, protect, defend. The other invites a different kind of presence: one rooted in belonging, not ownership; in interdependence, not isolation.<\/p>\n

If communication is to matter \u2014 if NVC is to be what it was meant to be \u2014 it must start with this transformation of thinking.<\/p>\n

We must ask:<\/p>\n