*The dream does not prove a dreamer—only that dreaming is.*
What we call the “dreamer” may itself be part of the dream.
Only awareness itself—timeless, changeless, observing all states—remains un-dreamed.

And perhaps, as the sages say:

“All phenomena are like a dream, a phantom, a shadow—
like dew or a flash of lightning; thus should you view them.”
— *The Diamond Sutra*

What You Are Not, But What Is

You’re not your story.

Not your gender.

Not your thoughts or feelings.

Not even “awareness” as a thing you possess.

Yet something **is**. Something **remains**.
It’s not personal.
It’s not impersonal.

It just **is**.

The Power of the “Without” Approach

“Without thoughts, memories, emotions, associations, perceptions, or even awareness… how would you know you are a man? A woman? A self?”

This form of inquiry is not about negation for its own sake—it’s **deconstructive self-inquiry**. Each “without” strips away a veil, a scaffold the ego uses to stabilize itself. Eventually, the mind is forced into silence—not because it has found the truth, but because it can no longer cling to its **usual strategies of knowing.**

And what remains?

Not nothing.
Not an answer.
But a presence, a stillness that cannot be spoken—but **is undeniable**.

—

Here’s the paradox Stephen Wolinsky helps us touch:

* We start by trying to *know what we are*.
* But the **only thing that can be known** is what we are **not**—thoughts, roles, feelings, stories.
* As more is removed, a sense of *being* remains—yet even that cannot be captured.

This leads to what Wolinsky called: **“The I Without an I.”**
The sense of self **dismantled**—not destroyed, but revealed to be **empty of form, full of presence.**

A Practice Inspired by Wolinsky

Try this line of inquiry right now:

Ask:

– Without memory, how do I know who I am?**

– Without thoughts, am I still a man? A woman?**

– Without emotion, who is feeling?**

– Without sensation, do I still exist?**

– Without perception, what is left?**

– Without awareness—even that—what remains?**

Sit in silence after each one. Don’t answer. **Let the absence deepen.**

The mind may try to fill the silence—just return to the **”without”**.

Eventually, the mind cannot proceed. It yields.

What’s left isn’t “known” in the traditional sense.
It’s **presence without center. Awareness without form.**

Remember the **no-space space**, empty and full, where there was no I, and only the I that was not there remembers now.

Govert van Ginkel

This article is written by Govert van Ginkel. Govert specializes in Nonviolent and Effective Communication and is active in this field as a trainer, speaker, coach, and mediator. More information about Govert can be found here. The current training offer can be found here